conclusion to a crappy day

to wrap up yesterdays adventures, presently recalled as hilariously impossible, i give you this. yesterday's trip to the ups store ended thusly:

(after borrowing scissors, wrapping my gift in the paper i brought from home, discovering the leaky water bottle, tossing said water bottle, asking for paper towel to mop up my purse as the gentleman behind the counter lovingly packed my box in popcorn and cardboard after i waited for at least 5 minutes as the employees {and owner!} contemplated lunch and phoned the neighboring sandwich shop with their order, all WHILE I WAITED. when the boy presented the box...)
me: i'd like to ship this ups ground.
he: ok.
me: that'll get there by saturday, right?
he: no, it'll get there next week.
me: how much for guaranteed delivery by saturday?
he: $22.xx
me: uh, ok. how much for packing my gift?
he: $6.95
me: (thinking: you've GOT to be joking) ok, i'd like to just pay for that for now.

--insert irony--

i bring you this morning, at the u.s. post office
clerk 1 (to customer): thank you. hope you have a great day.
clerk 2 (jokingly): we'll have to balance out the good days with every other customer. 'cuz not everyone can have a good day)
me: i had my bad day yesterday, so that's not gonna work. (forced smile)
clerk 1: i guess we can have two good days in a row.
(cordial pause, customer leaves, pleasantries)
me: how much would it cost to guarantee this package will arrive by saturday?
clerk 1: where's it going? (...) it'll have to be sent express mail, since priority mail is 2-3 days. (...) that'll be $22.xx
me: (!!!) ok.

ok man, the crappy day will stop here. back to wrapping up the last of school stuff.