last week found me grappling with the speed bumps life's been chucking at me more than usual. i've been down and out about all of it because i constantly feel like i should be further along in one or more areas of my life. i'm 36: what have i got to show for it? honestly, i have more than many and less than some. there is this imagined gradient that i've been judging myself by and i often feel deficient in more than one area. with deep appreciation, i'm rich in friendships. more than one person has encouraged me this week: thank you. what woke me up? my brother-in-law getting rushed to the emergency room. my sister grabbed me out of my pity party in a 32-second phone call and i threw my shoes on and pushed up against the speed limit across 6.8 miles to be with my nephew at 10 o'clock at night. no more time for reverie. no more introspection. time to get outside of myself and be there for someone else. it was just what i needed.
he's okay. there's more tests to be run at this point, but he's okay. a good friend reminded me: we're all okay if we're up and about and breathing. i have physical pain on the daily, but i'm working to resolve the issues. i am doing, not merely trying. the problem is the results of my doing are netted over time and i don't see the results immediately.
so. what.
be patient. keep doing. know better that you are the sum of the efforts and elements you are imbuing your life with. the progress will be evident over time. i had my foot surgery 2 months ago: i've come a long way since then. does it feel like it in the day-to-day? heck no! i've got to keep working at my therapy exercises and manipulate my foot/toe(s) to regain the flexibility i want.
so keep working at your life. you are the sum of your efforts. you are what you are doing.
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