01 nov 2013

a recent conversation, captured in bright blurts of 140 characters or less, got me thinking about writing again.

those emails from nanowrimo, because they still have my address on record from previously failed attempts at novel-writing, got me thinking about writing again.

a recent post about writing by a good friend of mind, because she is brilliantly outspoken, critical, and thoughtful, got me thinking about writing again.

another friend's sketches, an homage to her current state of being newly transplanted into new york city, got me thinking about writing again.

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i think sometimes i get stuck thinking about why life is this way or that way, or what someone will think of me based on what i write. there are several ways of attacking this line of reasoning.

i'm not that important. not as important as my ego certainly supposes that i am. what is it about human nature that constantly suspects it is being watched? i've seen the stats on this deflated blog. and i recently clicked on a reference for a supposed referral site that led to boobs. thanks, internet. if i wanted porn, i know there is plenty to be had. i'll take fall foliage over central park for $1000, alex.

i am being judged--it's true. but visitors to this site can be divided into two main categories: friends/family/acquaintances & strangers. the first group, the familiars, know me to varying degrees. they either like me or they don't. if they don't, they probably won't visit this site. 

if they fall into the subcategory of "used to know me," and we're estranged, then there's probably a reason for that too. they don't have to read this site and i don't have to keep curbing this blog for their...protection? 

what i must remember is that, if someone wants to know me, they will ask questions. if they don't ask questions, they will simply draw their own conclusions based on their personal life experiences. i have no control over that approach, so why do i let that hinder the writing i want to do? i shouldn't. so i won't.

and strangers? well, yeah. this is the world wide web. i'm ok with that. we're all a little strange to each other. that's part of what makes this world beautiful.

bottom line: i'm thinking about writing again. i won't be joining nanowrimo this month, but how about a blog post a day for the month of november to get the dust of the gears? i'll give it a try.